THIS TIME I REALLY HAD ENOUGH.
AND I REALLY MEAN IT.

I GOT LIKE MANY STUPID THINGS RIGHT BEHIND ME.
PESTERING ME!
#TRANSPORT FEE.
#INLINE
#I HAVENT PACK MY LUGGAGE!
#IM LEAVING TO SHANGHAI TMR...
#I NEED TO GO PEPS TMR.
#I WANNA GO TDK FRM 8-930 when
#I HAD TO REACH T3 AT 11pm and i live at batok
AND I WANTED TO SEND NIGEL OFF.
THINK I SHALL FORGT ABT IT D:

and theres like soo many more.
that day i was upset.
cause i may not be gg to india.
and when tcher told me that i can.
im like so damn happy can.

ANYWAY
MDM T**!
I HAD ENOUGH OF YOU.
DONT YOU TRY TO PROVOKE ME.
CAUSE IM SO GONA MAKE YOUR LIFE SO DEAD.
I WANTED TO SPOIL YOUR TCHER DAY.
BUT BECAUSE I AM WONG LI QING SO I SHALL NOT.
JUST YOU WAIT.
AND YOU ARE SO ***
YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO SETTLE A PROBLEM AND YOU MIXED BOTH PERSONAL AND WORK.
K**
*BOBIAN NOW I NIDA USE '*' CAUSE OF SOME STUPID REASONS*

tues
stayed back for both india and hangzhou meeting.
hangzhou was freaking waste of my precious time.
india was slacking.
but i like it.
once i laugh till i couldnt stand.
and i talk bad about geoffrey behind his back?
ouh?
went to hall to wait for huimin rehears..
went to tehtarik to eat.
reached home at 9pm..
157 was damn slow.

wed..
rulang-ed
back to sch.
and was damn mad!
cause of some stupid reason.
ouhh.
went home..
nap-ed
and lixuan called me.
prepared and went to her house at 7+ .
baked cookie cum cake.
u may ask why?
cause one try was soft and totally like a cake.
the another was chaoda.
i was sort of upset.
cause we spent lots of time on it.
homed at1130pm

today.
homed.
nap-ed.
and prepared to go to chinese garden.
walked ard etc etc.
ouhh.
then there was this minister ?
lookin at me.
then suddenly say hello to me.
and i did nth.
:D
i meant he stare at me for so long then wave.
err?
reached home at 930pm.
and im like so tired.
i must pack my luggage ltr!

KNN IM SO DAMN FREAKING MAD NOW

wahaha.
im so damn ultra happy!
so decided to write before sleeping.
too happy to sleep can.
but i really want him to know that.
every single word i mention are true.
and i hope his promise is true too.
promise are meant to be broken.
but not his promise nor that promise.
i simply miss him now.
remember hor..
u cant break your promise.
if not i wouldnt have appetite.
and will be very sad + xiang bu kai ..
once you leave singapore.
remember to be back.
i will be waiting :DD

i just remember that i didnt post what i wanted last week.
but i forgotten what happen liao..

my original friday schedule

after school.
stayed back for meeting.
which will be 230pm.
then homed.
and have tuition at 330pm.
then meet lixuan at 5+.
at 7 dad wil drive me to sch.
after that which shld b approximately be 8+.
dad wil drive me to tdk.

but..
many things cropped up so it became like this

after school.
stayed back fo sc 'sup' and meeting.
meet lx on the way home then went to 183 until 4+
homed bathe and bck to 183..
6 went home.
ate and took 157 to school.
715 reached.
then changed and took passport..
and all thanks to suichyuen and her mummy.
who drove me to tdk.

see the big diff.
i wasted my time slacking at 183 larh!
ouhh.
talk abt after 7.
went to sch
and i saw weilun.
chatted for a while.
and i was like nt only you ushering ar?
den he sae gt oder.
so at 2nd floor.
i nearly fell?
cause i saw zhenyang.
so happen i know him too.
an di was telling him dont tell mi 2rd floor gt another sc i no de.
when i wanted to ask if its nelson.
i walked halfway to 3rd floor.
and rly its him nia.
i totally got shock.
cause its too coincidence tt all i no de marh.
i din even expect gt ushering can!
cause i was late bt the meeting haven start.
and this time.
i din believe nelson tt i will b seeing another sc.
which so happen to be huangyu.
what i can say is i was totally shock all the way from 1st to 3rd floor..
meeting was sian sian sian.
after that.
i wanted to changed at 3rd floor toliet.
then the alley?balcony?idk wat u call tt so many diff name for tt.
was totally dark.
ten mi and yvonne dun dare.
and nelson said switch on the light and i told him to pei mi.
of cos he cnt lurh.
ushering and den nv do duty.
die lor.
in the end i went to the 1st floor de lurh.
xinyi was lyk looking at me so i said tts tdk de uni..
and she was lyk.
orhh.
no wonder so familiar.
ehh girl.
u gt the same as mi dun tel u duno worh.
and yes i no yc oso gimi e ___ look.
den took my passport.
and suichyuen mummy drove mi to tdk :DDDD
and then many were lookin at me.
including those who played bbal.
cause i wore sch shoe, tdk pant and hyss tee.
weird weird weird.
and i spent 5min? 10 min?
wearing the guards uni and belt.
is so damn awkward for mi cn.
and i think that what i did to __ was totally wrong.
cause i realise i do love him.

p/s: cause i gt sth on so i wil continue nxt time
p/s/s: i was kene kicked on the neck? wahahha

after reading xx blog.
i realised sth.
im actually someone who can describe a person till she is not worth a single cent.
but i know i know.
if i do this..
i would haf lost many thing.
one of which is friendship.
im trying to maintain the friendship i had with others by not being tt vulgar. straightforward
(*ahem ahem* someone knows that.wakakas)
ouhh well well well.
if i try to keep everything to myself i will go crazy.
wahaha.
my dear darling.
you gona suffer man.
*wicked laugh*
ouhh.
before i forgotten.

#self reminder#
-no more vulgarities =X
-dont gt too uptight so easily -.-
-tolerate tolerate tolerate
-no more being sarcastic
-no more being straightforward but still must tell the person what i dont like about him/her LOL

sth random..
i dun find anything wrong about xiaxue up to nw.
just tt she is being a little straightforward?
but her character henxiang wo de leh.
gosh..
wil i be hate by people?
well.
like i say.
i will not show ppl about my real character :D


ytd..
we had oral.
well.
is kinda easy.
went bowling.
had waffle.
i haf been cravin for it since i went to KK.
homed.

today..
after school went home.
hee
at last one day i cn go home right after sch.

haish..
suddenly i thought about what happen recently.
which actually give me a sense of insecurity, fear and some sort of regrets.
i remembered last time.
which was recently.
i kept anticipating for friday even though i know that it will be a day where happiness sadness anger will be felt by me.
but out of a sudden.
i dun really like friday anymore.

'if you wanna cry, cry on my shoulder'
'i wanna love you till i die'
hey boy, can you take all these back?
thank you.
i really doubt the love you had for me..
to be frank i will only know tt i love you after a 3rd party came.
which is like ppl tend to cherish things tt had been lost.

and i decided not to use vulgarities anymore.
i love being high class..i gota admit.
so whr gt high class ppl use vulagarities.
lol.
nonsense larh.
cause i realise tt using vulgarities will soon lead to an addict.
which i am now.
then slowly i will keep on using.
sometime in public accidentally said out.
then who knows got those ppl whom i nt suppose to offend.
and i offended them.
idk whats gonna happen man.

for example.
someone aci step on my foot and apologise.
cause im an addict.
i will sae ____...
den tt person buaysong and wan some troubles which im nt in in it.
then bu jiu shi wo zhi zhao de.
im nt tt what can.

and i really find it kinda hard to kick tt habit off.
so help mi alrights?

Firstly.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!
Secondly.
HAPPY belated BIRTHDAY PEISHANbiaojie!(080808)


thirdly.
let me say what i wanna say larh.
cause is like.
i punch you.
and then you pain (still okay).
then i also say pain.
where got such logic.

ytd i was supposed to meet lixuan and allan at mac.
for some-sort of studing?
hah.
but i din.
cause if i go i will reach like 630.
which leaves me 1h20min oni.
then i wanna watch the opening ceremony of the beijing2008 olympics.
i went tdk at 830.
had sparring.
sparred with yiqun chunfong and yiyang.
shall talk about it as detail-ly as possible.
whne i spar with yiqun.
she just keep kiking under my knee.
which was so wth.
then she step on my foot.
with all her might.
why?
all her body weight on one foot.
which was so fucking pain.
(frm hw i type can see hw mad i was abt sparring)
then i some-sort-of tio some skin disease or what frm wat my mummy sees.
and i dont know why my foot was feeling damn hot and pain and itchy?
why itchy?
after the whole sparring i realised i had a cut near my little toe.
so tt explain why.
i osrt-of pretended nth happen and cont.
yeah i once told sirs that i wanna train hard and go grading ASAP.
so i had to stay bck while yiqun went off.
i stayed and sparred with chunfong.
omfg.
he totaly dont give chance de.(which is actuali okay to me but..cont readin the red lines)
i so dam short and he tall.
hw to spar.
im supposed to gt close to him so as nt to b kick.
but then liqing only know hw to retreat and not chionging.
im nt a chiongster can.
thanks for the padding which sir helped me to put on.
why?
cause my whole body was like very hiong de kena kick in a way.
why?
not cause he hate me or what.
but he wanna train me.
yeah train in a hard way.
he wanted to pressurize mi and force me to fight back.
but instead was like.
omg and stun tio.
and i was kicked frm the bck.
which was pain.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?!
when both sirs ask if im okay or what.
I REPLIED:
its okay. NOT PAIN. continue ar
wahpiang leh.
my body was chao pain.
the thing i wanted to do is faint.
or fall onto the ground.
tt time i was kinda weak can.
i din rly ate my dinner.
and the foot of my, the cut, was real pain.
and to think yiqun say her little toe pain.
etcetcetc
when chun spar wid me more hiong than wid her.
thou i know the reason why which was...
followed by sparring with yiyang.
hah.
think its shuang for him.
why?
cause only spar with me then relax.
if with the seniors?
he cnt even spar a nice one larh.
cant even compare a single bit larh.
whats more i younger and shorter than him.
and that time i arldy spar twice.
when the one before him was chun.
hw to spar la.
aft sparing.
my mind was fill with him.
hoping that he would be with me lending me his shoulder.
aft tt sparin i walk one side hold my spect.
kinda wanna cry.
idk why.
pain is of course got de.
mayb i feel humiliated?
idk.
the pain i still can tolerate a little.
im unlyk many can.
many pain stil scream/shout i wouldnt de.
but sometime i wan ppl pity mi then i wil lyk hentongleh.
bt ytd i din.
i totally put up a strong face.
since he wasnt there to lend mi a shoulder.
i wanted to find one ytd.
but there wasnt any.
cause is lyk tdk fren unlyk those fren i had.
hold hand.
hugging.
etc etc
seem so what to them.
new?
hah
idk.
and make mi buay song is tt.
aft my turn.
its yiqun's
then she did spar wid chun.
with padding oso!
but!!!
chun din rly do any continous kickings.
but 3 in a row.
tts it.
but wen its me.
its lyk duno hw mani time can.
yeah.
like i say i no whats the reason.
dey wana presurize me to force me hiong hiong spar.
but i cnt.
as for why yiqun's sparrin was so relak.
cause..
in a way dey dun gim a dam abt her (this is sth i knew long ago and kept for centuries but i dun gim a dam.)
why?
i dun wan ppl to tink tt dey treat her so nice.
infact it wasnt.
it was dey dun gim a dam in a way.
unless they sort of lied to me.
then i will say.
im hurt.
im sad to haf such a fren who wil lie to mi.
yiqun was sort of unhappy.
i know i know.
she complained dont know hw mani time of the blueblack tt she had since last tdk till thurs.
which i tot its nth.
cos everytim i spar wif raina.
i also tio.
but i dun see myself makin a BIGBIGBIG fuss over it.
so what for she make a big fuss when she haf a thick 'protection' than mi.
enuf of this.
idk im sad angry or what.
aft class.
talked to suichyuen.
and i want tt motianlun made by him!!
ohhk.
and i saw sth which i feel lyk typing out.
i tot u nv stead b4 until my fren told mi tt u din wana tel mi.
and the reason was u din wan mani ppl to no.
so u told her oni.
ok.
i gt it.
im upset.
cos i had a fren who din trust mi.
when tt fren knew mi for ___ years.
nvm.
den in th afternoon i saw a pic.
in the night too.
woah.i was lyk happy?
cause i dun own u any explaination on why i din..
bt i was sad too.
cause i hate ppl saein things like i wil ai ni yi bei zhi.
when sudenli u gt a new stead.
den i wil b lyk fg.
den why u sae all those.
but.
sudenli.
i realise i was dreamin.
cause wat i tot wasnt true.
u din gt urself a new stead.
i was upset real upset.
which mean i stil own u an explaination.
and im lyk.
wahpiang.
k fine i dun gim a care oso.
hmpf.
i just simply hate ppl who sae one and do the other!
after tdk slack for awhile and went home.
think it was hanwei who din wana go mac?
and simon?
nt sure.
so sir was lyk anyting.
so decided nt to go.
think they had sth on early th nxt mornin barh.

today is chao sian can.
national day.
all the television show is lyk olympic if nt if those cartioon-ist de!
ltr oso dun know go whr.
i wana go malysia visit my cuzz and family
then dad sae mayb go watch fireworks.

ohh
i wana learn boxing nia.
mayb aft i gt my black.
i learning either wushu taichi or boxing.
wahahaha.
bt mum say dun learn taichi learn wushu.
dad thinks tt boxing is great.
woah.

p/s i forgotten to mention tt. aft class chun ask i im okay. and i say yes. pain or nt. no worh.. actually is got pain. but i see no pt telling them. even if i sae pain dao buaytahan. what he gona do? bring mi see doc arh? i rather sae nt pain? nt i stupid. bt lyk tis make mi sound stronger. whats mor is i sae wana train harder. and he did tel mi b4 tt i would haf to prepare to gt scoldings frm him. mus chg away my no confidence atitude then i cn train hard and b ready to face tough trainin if nt dey cnt help mi. and i got to train till tt standard tt i wan. haish bt it seem as thou those words din gt in my mind. aft class we did stayed bck to learn more. and i rly gt put in efort can!

Here is the analysis of me:

1)You are a very serious person. You tend to be quiet and well behaved, and you don't have a great deal of self-confidence. You prefer to be alone rather than with friends and that could make you a little less interesting to certain types of guys. You are very attractive in an individual kind of way, and this means it can take people a little while to get to like you.

2)You don't really care about other people's feelings. You do things the way you want and usually think only about yourself. You are easy-going and love to have fun, but you can be irresponsible as well. You are not keen on serious discussions because they can make you remember that life isn't always about parties.

3)You strictly follow rules, and you expect other people to be the same as well. People can get tired of you easily, as you can make them feel a little guilty about themselves. You always make decisions on your own, and can be dismissive of other people's advice. You like to be the leader in groups, but can forget to be concerned about the people you are with.

4)Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?

5)Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

LOL this is like so not accurate + diff frm the previous post de!

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

have you every spare a though for me?
when i wanted to leave you.
u keep clinging onto me.
but when i needed you.
u werent beside me.
everything had become a past to me.
it was you.
it was you whom didnt cherish the past and want it now.
so what you wanna me to do?
pretend nth had happen?
and let it be the future?
or present?
woah.
think i can only say i dont think im up to it?
i had to admit that im thinking of you every moment.
im missing you every now and then.
i want you to be by my side always.
etc etc etc.
yeah they are all true.
but..
sth is stopping me frm loving you.
yeah.
so what am i suppose to do?
*mind in a mess*
_______________________________________________

i jus rmb.
rmb the time i was so damn angry for nt receiving your reply.
and its was ur mum.
yesh
ur mummy who told me that she told you to reply and you did send it to me.
even ur mum knew that i would be angry if i din receive it.
yeah
i was angry for at least 3mth
lucky all my doubts had their ans..
i was angry because i thought that
- you din even care abt me
- you din even bother to spend tt little bit of time to reply
- i meant nth to you.
thus i rly gt to thanks ur mummy for 'clarifying' the doubts i had in me.
i was upset for %@#^&*() mths because
- i din receive the reply thou it was sent out
thus
- the plan that i had was some sort of abolished
&&&
- i rly wana know whats the content
aniw its all in the past.
no point.


ouhh.
aniw
i think blogging does help in relaxation in a way larh

040808
nth much.
after sch went to westmall with shugee.
had burgerking.
and went for bowling.

080808
was chao tired de.
so went home for a rest.

060808
went to rulang for peertutoring.
tutor huiling.
she is erm?
okay larh.
quite easy gg.
think her eng nt bad lor.
ask mi explain in chi is like a challenge can.
and i tutor another for eng.
is lyk woah.
i can bo.
ohh ms phang gimi a lollipop.
very long nv eat le.
to me lollipop is lyk dam sweet+fattening.
ohh and i really wana thanks jacob for all his advice plus some others too.
but jacob really help mi alot that i wana tel him tt i love him man.
ohh i went to bed at 1am.
because of the slection of combination.
lucky this smart ass helped mi.

today.
nth much too.
homed for tuition.
yeah.

if only our life could be as colourful as the rainbow we saw up high.

if only i could be protected.
if only i could let go of what should have been let go long go.
everything wouldnt be what it is now.

we tend to take everything for granted.
only when it is gone we know what regret is.
whats the point of living life in this way?

if only everyone in the world doesnt want to be the best of the best.
no backstabbing.
no jealousy.
if only no one lies to get what she wants.
everything would have been different.

if you believe, you will see it.
whats the meaning behind it?

but i know for sure.
if you use your heart to see.
things which naked eyes cant see.
will still be able to see.
even if it cant be seen.
we will be able to feel it.

if only everyone is as innocent as what a baby was when born.
if only everyone uses their heart to see.
if only we tell the truth but nothing else.
if only we take everything seriously.
if only we say what we wanna say.
if only we hear the nice things.
if only no one does any bad deed.
if only humans dont regret , 'if only' wouldnt has been used.

Labels: 'if only' in the world of a couple, time is stagnant...

one reason for blogging now.
nth to do.
why?
cause i lazy to go out to watch mummy.

talk about august first.
wahaha.

1august
friday
school-ed
stayed in class for an hour then to 3n2 for meeting.
took the huayi exchange blog password n id etc etc.
and went home.
did some tuition work while waiting for tutor.
then watched tv and used the com.
and i didnt eat my dinner when i didnt eat my lunch too..
cause is like im ultra hungry but my mouth lazy to chew etc etc.
and im like chao no appetite.
i dont know why.
ohh and im very piss too.
cause ms phang walk out of class.
then i saw kahhwee crying.
i didnt cry not i hav no feeling liao.
caus emy heart is numb alrdy.
all teachers are doing this.
have they ever spared a thought for some of us.
esp kahhwee?
whatsmore i have so many probs to handle now.
and school isnt doing anything but indtead putting more stupid burdens on me.
then at night talk to daddy about it so i was damn piss..
kind of lucky cause i got wonderful friends.
one of them is yarlee.
what she say is true.
but i really got no target liao.
hanwei say mus haf.
but mine is too too high.
can never be reach.
you see arhh..
wanna own many diff kind of companies
be the richest zhabor
but before all this i wana go uni.
hah.
mi so stupid.
hw can?!
ohh.
then i was late for tdk.
i did went for it.
ehh chun 'guide' me for kicking.
cos i was 10 sec late and yiqun partner raina.
i cnt use partner cos chun is sir marh.
so wrong to cal tt.
actually i was glad its him.
he can tel me whats right whats wrong and he is a btr holder.
unlike some.
and my back thrus was ultra lan and stil wan mi do.
den he go ask hanwei to sort of push my shoulder to tell mi the angle.
which i can nv do it right.
follow by some 2in1 and 3in1 kicking.
and i and some talk too much liao larh.
random.
okay.
so its sparring time.
and got the full contact sparring guard or wat u cal it.
and boon was chosen.
i was like die liao.
cos i told chun i wana train hard.
den wats more among the three of us.
can sae quite close?
hah.
bt i duno whats the reason behind.
he went to ask sir if female can wear nt.
so i knew my doom haf arrived.
and soo suay really its me.
spar wif hanwei.
and i did precisely nth.
no way will u ask mi to spar wif tt wuguike on me.
and i laugh too much.
bo bian had to be punished lo.
but heng 20pumping oni.
and i was warned not to laugh again which when chun wasnt looking..
and and and warn for the position of whr my hand was.
cause i kip tidying my fringe and touch my nose for no reason.
ohh but dont know why chun will think i sick nia.
mayb before tt gt cry den..
err yeah.
den aft sparin i dam buay song.
gim atitude lo.
den after class train-ed.
and the kick so like dancing.
ohh and did one pattern.
chat-ed and then went to mac.
did some work again.
then 12+ walk to bus stop.
12 45 reached home.

2august
sat
went to grandmama house.
reach at 4.
today very few cousin came.
4th aunt sons.
one went to taiwan coming bck at night the other ns.
5th aunt son went to work.
yeah.
then one of them had sth on and came late.
lol.
think sooner or later i would nt be able to haf a meal wid them in the same table.
as time moves.
the elder cousins will meet up and go out.
leaving mi alone..
forget abt tt.
at last i haf seen kaikai.
my newphew.
gosh larh.
4mth old.
last time i seen him was erm?
when he was 1mth+?
yeah.
seeing him feel like kissing him.
i dont know why.
lol.
ethan you must feel honour can.
i seldom will like wanna kiss someone?
ehh no.
cant said tt.
nvm take it as ben xiaojie bu qing ren de.
k fine.
stil rong.
nvm
ohh den i cnt carry my nephew cause baby v fragile.
then last time bbal tt time i sort of kip sprainin my wrist and i dun gim a dam abt it.
so nw hand quite weak.
wats more to all baby is like bao.
so btr dun larh.
cos the baby butt mus sit oh my arm den my another arm on his chest.
abit diff.
nvm.
i wil learn.
eyer.
i feel lyk gg my grandmama hse nw to visit hm now!

today supposed to go suntec and watch mummy.
but i very guai nv go.
cause sirs dey all.
is like guys at 20+ age den wid mi tis xiaomeimei.
scare dey abit uneasy.
lol.
rubbish.
but who knows it might be true.
the reason is chao simple de
im lazy and i dun feel lyk watch a movie now!
so stayed at home posting and watchin tv plus playing game.
ohh.
i shld haf knew it and went out wif sir dey all.
cause i jus knew tt my mum haf sum performance so cnt go out wif daddy and mummy.
mayb daddy oni.
den it make no purpose for me to nt go out.

p/s : i is chao ai ethan de can :D