wth? I just realised that xiaojiu called daddy to..
ask us go KL tmr and back on Sat!
Bloody, but also no time larh, 1 day only,
must visit sanyi, then is 3 family go,
surely will drive grandma back.
Where got the fun larh?
I want to go Genting and the chichiongkai only.

Ohh, i didnt mentioned that ytd when i was revising,
i wasnt paying 100percent mode cause i realise something may happened today.
So today I went home, and I knew the result.
Bloody, I dont wanna my life to be like the past only.

*Edited*

Is my heart aching? because im sad.
OR is my heart in pain? because of gastric.
dont you guys think heart and gastric got no link at all hor!
is just that you guys dont know only.
kay, fine, dont go into detail.

Saturday was super boring lurh?
Dinner at the WangJian Cafe at Imm, idk if i got the name right.
Wth? We walked to many many restuarant, but dinner time too packed!
AND i bumped into nicklaus, gavin, kaikiat, huihao and adrain.
the two latter were bumped at 1st floor,
when they were 'playing catching'?
Nicklaus damn stupid lurh.
say hi to my mother,
and my mother blur blur dont know!
Cause she said: your friend also dont know me, say hi to me for what?
haha. blur mum.

Sunday was Kim's 21st birthday chalet!
Waited for jacelyn's family to come fetch mum me and sis.
Bloody! waited for 20min like an idiot lurh me.
And and and Joseph and family were there there there!
JOSEPH~
Misses him loads.
Ate some meefen with curry chicken first, cause i was starving!
Then i even helped jacelyn with folding of bacon with mushroon!
Yummy yummy.
Then watched TV since Kim, Joseph and sis went for swimming.
I feel so bad! cause i said that i would swim with them de.
And i kept saying Joseph no muscle.
Okay larh, his arm one still not bad lurh.
Cause, ermm, the whose one is the best to me.
Haha. Ohh, and LiTong(idk if thats his name) is so sociable.
Despite meeting me the first time.
Crapp-ed abit only, then kept talking out the exchange prog i've been.
Start-ed fire, and we wanted to pass some charcoal to our neighbour,
to help them luhr. Who ask them so stupid dont know how to start fire.
But we didnt cause by then fire started liao.
I kept saying I want crab stick ;D and the bacon thingy was delicious.
I kept asking people to kuang me, cause i did help with sth-related-to-food.
ben xiaojie, dont do such stuff de worh.
And, Jacelyn ask me go Japan help her buy LV ;D
I also want lurh.
And oh my gosh, the two younger slibings of Joseph who went to my bday party,
is like so damn tall and different alrdy!
BBQ-ed and mummy bbq the satay was the best larh!
and 7pm back to chalet to watch TV, hongxindajiang.
Then out again to bbq, chatted with litong
and joseph kim and paul and another friend went to buy cake.
LOL. Before that, that Joseph say want intro Paul to me
and say that the 2nd friend coming not that shuai.
So, when he came, I looked at Joseph and our expression super funnaye lurh!
Hinting that Paul more shuai. Hes so damn tall can! Wakeboarding? shuai dai le!
Swensen's icecream cake. So still at pit there talked lurh, didnt expect to tell litong then i v.sad.
Then in to sing bday song, etc etc.
Not long later, Eric came with his going-to-be-laopo.
My biaojiumu. and Eric super funny lurh, asked if i wanna talk to her to know more about her.
But she v prettaye leh, not as bad as what he often say to me.
I so good lurh, help him take drinks, but not long later i thought that Paul might want,
SO! i asked him and offer to help him but also must help the other friend of his.
Since, they bbq-ing so nvm lurh, so xinku.
And I offer to Paul first then he so give the another guy -.-
and he say thankyou super super cute lurh, cause he tall i short.
Then make him looked humble, cute dai le.
Watched uncle mum and cousin + boyfriend played mahjong,
that one no gamble is to bond only.
Then i also dont know why keep tickling Joseph. Hehe. That cute boy.
Then Eric send us home lurh, tgt with litong.

Monday, I seriously forgotten what happen!
hmm? ohh, i waited super long for 98 -.-
then asked litiang, zhikang and huihao wait fo rme.
I was super angry in a way when i reached tuition.
You know why!
Cause i thought because of what happened last mon/fri.
Thats why he sat there.
and litiang still 好意思 asked if i wanted to sit the seat that she took.
You think i that daring saying that i wanna sit with him meh?
haha, angry marh, so sit with the replacement one lurh.
I doubt many would understand. Nvm. I understand can liao.
But seriously i sat beside Aaron, seemed super weird?
Haha, but the view there also not bad larh.
Although i aint that angry, but think of it, will sad and angry de marh!
And that litiang still can say that she found it funnaye!
when sweet was offered despite i was angry with him.
FUNNAYE!
This time i never ask him buy mentos, is he auto de kay.
If not later someone jealous worh.
I felt paiseh taking the twins' papa car.
But i still took in the end.
Damn suay? Cause his papa missed the first turn so got second turn.
Still okay. Then suppose to turn to the Jurong? to my house larh!
Missed then drove all the way to can-go-IMM there.
And Andy was like : papa
Papa : why you now so late then say.
Andy : You know what i wanna say meh?
Aaron : You wanted to tell papa that he supposed to turn ar?
Wahlao, his father like that also know his son wanna say what.
But I think his papa pekcek lurh, sorry uh.
Of course watched pingpong larh!
Caused him to missed his favourite part. Sorry.

Tuesday was so shuang!
Cause i napped in the afternoon.
Before class.
Class were super challenging today lurh.

Wednesday : 1 more day before maths and eng part 1.
Blooody. After school to KFC then Mac to buy lunch.
Packed and ate at tuition.
I kept saying how nice mac was, to make Alister envy me.
Haha. Then home-d. bathed and prepared to chiong maths.
From 545pm to 1220am.
Until 10pm, I went to RC to find HanWei and Simon.
Sir and YiYang came -.-
wth? I didnt know they came, then i thought i be distracted.
I chiong home to take my file lurh!
And I found ChunFong came down too.
Then to 177 to eat, i thought Simon wanted to go Mac?
But he stayed at RC to study for exam.
Then, Yiyang left, not long later Sir drank and smoked finish jiu left too.
So left me and HanWei and Chunfong.
Lucky Chunfong came down larh. Cause i wanted to study everything.
Despite having lungs infections,he still helped me. TOUCHED.
Idk if he came down because i needed help? Since he told me he cant help me today.
Thus, i went to find Hanwei marh. Idk leh.
Study till 1220am, then he walked to my block downstair!
I so good eh, he offered to walk me to the lift/house there.
But I say dont need. Good right!?

ChunFong uh, better take good care of yourself.
Next time meet up, I provide you with all the infos about him kays?
So, better get well soon!

At home, searched for the compo book, cant find leh!!
2A textbook also cant find.
In the evening, I used it then midnight I cant find!
wth. creepy.

Today morning, dragged myself out of bed!
Lucky I told Raina I be extreme late.
Haha! Lucky, BoonKeat today go school by bus ;D
OKay, I dont so bad larh.

Both papers were tough! I think is not tough but i slept tooo late.
That I couldnt concentrate at all.
+ raining leh! = so nice to sleep.
Then I thought I got alot of time, so i do slowly slowly!
Then last minute I got no time larh!
Haish, don't talk about it le!
I nearly cried for maths paper 1 larh.
When time gonna up that time.

I HAVE GOT ALOT ALOT ALOT THINGS TO SAY!
but suddenly sth stopped me to. and my heart suddenly v pain!
IM SO GLAD TO GO HWACHONG INSTITUTION today!
cause got KLX there. KLX is oh-so-loved by me ;D
correct not?! correct not?!
super long never met up with klx, suddenly meet up,
all my troubles are gone with klx. ;D thanks bab-y ;D
*opps! thats not what i should call u uh?* loves u lots larh.
cause after reaching home, i realised without lx, i cmi.
615am i woke up then to peps,
waited for this lazy pig for like 10 min?
everytime also like that one de.
then off we set to HCI!
today was super uber warm.
热死我了！
then then then walked and talked alot.
not crapping. we don't crap duh. yeah right.
we've got lot of things to talk about!!!!
from daily life all the way to ___________. idk.
everything also can talk jiu dui le ;DD
from 730am talked to 445pm when i went home.
almost non stop.
ohohoh. after walked around we went for tcher seminar,
so cool right? but we both were slpy then, i even msged louis.
ohohoh, when we walked ard, i was read lx's msg when suddenly i heard..
MAUNGTHET~ i tio xiadao man. and laughed mad.
mr yeo see us then saw maungthet also laughed.
ohohoh, today got two Philippine tcher who went with us for SMOPS!
tcher seminar shuang uh! got aircon, can slp. and the speaker taught us sth barh.
seriously, i can nv be emo whn im with klx lurh.
why uh? i think is like 4years plus and still counting barh.
then today was precisely talking about 3guys, A.J.S.
u get it? no u dont! hahahah.
we talked, crapped and rubbished!
(oh dear, klx, im gona cry soon nw!)
yeah yeah yeah, today main topic was 3245g657u36#%^y@#$!
then after seminar, got the ehh buffet.
then then then back to peps, and then played with the iphone too plus idioms.
rubbish. and mr yeo chatted with this indian tcher, till we thought he forgotten us.
and his iphone. we decided to ignore and see his reaction and he went into his car.
we of cause chased him larh.
then he said we wanted to drive the car to where we were standing!
wth, we were like aiya!
ohh, then to westmall for swensen.
salmon baked rice + seafood lasagna!
share share with klx ;D
hmm? then to singtel and harvey norman,
mr yeo want walk walk marh.
then lefted, i and klx go swing swing.
mr yeo tio xiadao in a way, oh come on!
mine n klx's 'childhood' have each other de can.
omg, does it sound mushy? woah. nvm. (KLX, u can tahan right?)
super sunny can, 4th time under the sun alrdyyy!
still on the main topic man.
so long never see, of cause got loads of things to talk about!
but nevermind, we shuo hao le! will update each other first.
we ask us to be oh so freaking close.
and the bond btw us can never break!
ohohoh, i was asking mr yeo how to tcher set the test paper,
and suddenly this KLX! wth, scare me by saying.
'omg i was about to say mr yeo when u asked' and we laughed like siao.
hahah, see we so got moqi, no wonder the attraction forces btw us soo strong!
then no many how loads of energy used, the bonds cannot be broken.
gosh im using chemistry!
went to bbt shop cause lx wanna drink then then then walked home.
ohh at 165 there talked a little more, and and and i gotta know sth.
seriously everytime i say sth so zun one.
i love it but am afraid liao.

fri.
stayed in school to accompany millie to eat,
then homed with raina and yifan,
they so good worh, pei me walked home.
then waited for tutor until 330 then came and ended at 5pm.
wth? i was so slpy and slpt until 615 whn alarm set at 530pm.
rushed like crazy!!
bathe then eat, wahlao, i got indigestion.
2min fin my food until gastric too pain!
then forget bring rubber band cause going tdk after tuition.
wth? i reached bustop then bus left.
called daddy to drive me, wth?
he came at 715? and i missed 2 98.
total, 3. but i think still faster then bus larh.
i was the latest and the cc and dion are like sweet teeth freak larh.
lucky i got the mentos that andy bought.
k larh, i prefer the mint instead of dion's grape cause i was uber slpy tt day.
and i was on medication!
wth, i shldnt have blurred sth out lo! but nvm, as expected alrdy.
still okay ;D
and when ended, dion lost his wallet.
wahlao i and kahhwee checked his bag cnt find.
before that he went to chon's hse to check bt dun haf.
in the end we all go bck to search whn we saw chong's car.
up to 8th floor and kenneth found it in dion's bag, hidden compartment.
lesson learnt: never put anything in the secret compartment.
then daddy reached liao. so bobian, go bustop lurh.
cant walked with them to mrt.
qikuai, i never see aaron in tuition worh!
and when i wanted to ask about amos, amos mum called chong but is another amos.
scare me, i whr gt soo zun until lyk tt one.
seriously, if only tt msg wasnt sent, would u sent tt to mi?

i was saying im glad to haf klx ard, cause by then i wouldnt be sad. ;D
so because of klx im not as sad as im supposed to ;D
im so happy!
KLX: In the past, when im down, u cheered me up!
But now, when u r feeling stressed etc, i cant cheer u up! D;
Although i wanted to badly, but u should know idk how to, sorry!
But i still hope u would be cheerful and happy and be motivated too!
Just like me ;D Let's find our motivation together!
p/s: 10 more days ;DDD

Im glad that i did not post yesterday.
If not all is emo emo emo post again!
However, I still feel sad?
Ehh! or maybe Im extremely happy?
Whatever! it is just that Im extremely happy after chi? recess? maths?
haha, i dont know! but i know many know what make my day.
Well, i shant say it out here! shy leh, you know?
But but but, im super sick right now.
I've been wanting to vomit since last night
ever since i started eating after more than 10 hours of gastric pain and starvation!
Yeah right! Because i was super super super super sad yesterday!
So, i decided to make myself suffer + i had no appetite at all!
Yesterday! during recess i thought i should suffer, so i bought sth to eat!
How i know i was the slowest to finish when i thought others were fast!
Since then i didnt eat all the way after class, after being persuaded to eat!
After school i stayed back to accompany litiang,
bought the avocado juice, gosh its disgusting after drinking half of it.
then back to class to slack and then litiang left for sth for awhile,
so left me and zk only D;
talked stuffs which i didnt expect to talk about
and theres this auntie whom timing so accurate,
came and asked us pack up! bloody!

I dont know who to blame!!!!!
If only i never talk about L durin tuition.
If only i didnt take his papa car.
If only we didnt talk about prom night.
If only i didnt talk about that.
If only i didnt care about you.
If only i didnt msg you.

HAHA! what for am i so concern? stupid me!
in the end what i got in return were stabs.
okay okay, i think i better clarify by myself first..
the msg received didnt really mean anything.
i mean one can just forget about it easily.
but is different to me cause its you who send it,
not others.
whoever also can tell me that,
but not you!
cause im deeply in love with u liao,
or rather deeply fallen in love with you liao!
i dont mind saying that,
cause i cant hide it anymore!
actually im not saying that theres anything wrong with the msg.
but were u just purely telling me the reason?
cause i asked u in the car, but u didnt tell mi?
so whn i msged u my concern,
u told me the reason?
but i dont c the reply to my concern?
i think i would also want the reply to that.
and then u said that it wasnt lecture.
so i would say i take that as concern for me?
well, indeed i need to say...
when u smile i m super happy,
grining frm one side to the other.
u sad, my heart ache alot!
however thanks alot for teaching me to be responsible,
thanks alot for the 'lecture'/'care'/'concern'.
thanks alot for telling me that baoli and argue do not work everywhere?
im super shock by this sentence can!
since when did i said that uh?
what prompt you to said that?
thanks alot for not lecturing me.telling me.teaching me.or correcting me.
not wanting me to debate for everything, must think of factor
and reasons why others do that.
but did i debate with you?
although i might debate with others, but not that day in the car right?
hahah! but i still must say that i cried upon seeing the msges.
i didnt act okay!
it teared on its own!
even when u apologised, i cried too.
maybe im touched? cause i didnt expect u to.
ahahahahah. im so silly.
or maybe i was too sensitive with what u say.
since u said u didnt mean anything,
not saying i did anything wrong.
okay then, by then i've simmer down already ;D
but i couldnt bring myself to reply u,
though i wanted badly.
because i scared it turn out to be a quarrel
and i dont want things to turn out awkward.
but ily, i want the best moment to be with u?
haha. its indescribable by words.
its the feel u know?
then on tues, we didnt talk.
i cried alot of time.
because of the msges,
i cried more than 10 times.
or ard there?
im not that sure too.
but so long ever since i cried like that!
cause u r important to me.
i remember getting down the car,
i forgotten did u look at me?
but i rmb is cause i think u looked at me
then i left angrily.
cause i was still upset.
i cried when i saw the msg.
i cried when i was brushing my teeth.
i cried when i woke up in the morning.
i cried on my way to sch, in the car.
i cried when i saw eraine.
cause i couldnt controll anymore.
i cried when it was assembly.
i walked in with a black face to the hall.
i was like a rotten person on mon and ytd.
i watched the TV as though im dead.
i was like restless in school, during class.
whenever i lied down on the table,
it hinted to you that i was crying.
i wanted you to say sorry personally verbally.
not thru msg or what.
then last night,
when i checked my hp, i thought it was yc.
then it was u! i was shocked.
i thought someone tipped u off.
haha. but i hope no one did.
cause mon i was sad, i talked to litiang on hp.
and u did apologise tt night.
then ytd i was msging yc abt this matter?
then u msged me again.
shock shock shock shock totally shock!
but still i restrain from msging u,
cause i dont want u to know how hurt i felt,
i dont wanna be emotional infront of u,
i dont wanna u to know how much ily.
and then u said if im still thinking why u said that on mon,
it's nothing.
u meant u dont mean saying sry?
u meant u did not want me to know about the reason for the prom?
u meant u just treated me like anyone else?
oh gosh! i then dont believe neh.
cause i know....................................
then today, i was wondering.
if we dont talk what will happen?
i dont wanna us to drift instead i want us to be closer ;D
cause ily, iny, and imy every moment.
i then dont believe u dont know! cause mdm lye knew it.
oh yeah, then today i was wondering.
u msged me four time and i reply the 1st msg only.
so i thought that i would be petty to not forgive u?
and so i realised i wanted u to know how i feel.
so i go ahead with that msg.
but i expected a msg.
i actually didnt want to talk to u,
i wanna ignored u,
to test and see if u will msged me tonight.
but somehow im afraid u wouldnt and that would only sadden me.
and by then i think i would be petty in ur heart.
actually i know i cant stand not talking to u, not msging u.
cause we always talk in class though it aint alot but its fine.
i was sad that i bellieve because of that msg that i ignored u.
and then thats why u sat one table away frm mi D;
but i hope next time no more alrdy.
today also like that, cause we 'patch' only during mt.
it was why i took ur pencil case to take the pen i needed.
cause thats we.
we should be like that de. we should!
and then it was maths, then physic, then geog and cme.
and had maths supp.
if only th seat beside me was empty.
i would get u to sit there, accompany me.
and so, that marked the over of our misunderstanding!
because i believe i misunderstand ur msg thinking u lectured me
and i wanted an ans to my concern and nt the reason.
i meant i also wanna know the reason larh.
but i so concern abt u then u never talk abt it at all.
then jumped to the reason.
i will scare de leh.
so feel hurt marh, and i believe my mum saw me crying.
and she was so gd to leave me alone in the living room.
but im still glad that u remember to tell me th reason,
which make me feel that im important?
make me feel that im not being ignored by u?
make me feel that at least u bother to tell me. ;DDD
because of that, i had mild gastric on that day.
and on tues i couldnt get myself to chew after recess,
so i was in pain for more than 10 hours and without food for more than 10 hours.
and when i was on my way home frm class and sch, i nearly fainted.
really nearly fainted.
and then i surrendered and ate.
but the pain is still there.
up to now.
from mild to severe and alittle only.
however theres too much acid alrdy in my stomach.
i've been feeling wanting to vomit up to now.
the feeling is so miserable.
maybe im not going school tmr,
but maybe i will cause i wanna c u badly.
im still happy that i said sry to u,
cause u said that to me.
and i felt that if im not tt senstive, all this wouldnt happen.
i dont want to be like others, where only one keep giving in
and the other dont give a damn and just keep pushing the limit ;D

its 8:26 pm now.
i took 1 hour and 24 mins to type this.
this prove how much this post meant to me.

Labels: ily.imy.iny.

AT LAST I MANAGE TO CHANGE BLOGSKIN!
IM SO TIRED NOW,
CONTINUE WITH POSTING TMR BAH!
+++ i cant wait for monday ;D
♥nights

I realise that im missing alot and alot and alot of people now.
I REALLY MISS THEM LOADS!
because im lazy to keep in touch with them,
and in the past many or rather none had hp in pri sch,
if not is mum dont let them use unnessary thus im unable to contact them.
hahah, today i managed to get aisha's contact.
I AM SO HAPPY!
but i really wanna contact with a few more,
i rmb having quite a num of gd friends who are malays ;D
i cant wait to contact them.
i rmb afiqah, i knew her since kindergarden,
then now never go back peps,
so nvr see her + i lost all my contacts once.
then there is sharifah and farhana.
i still rmb the dance by sharifah,
and i wish to see the grp of those in the team for the dance.
they were such a great fren!
IM SO SHOCK TO GET THIS RPLY FRM AISHA!
hehheh. yes yes i still remember those good old times. oh gooooosh. its been dinosaur months since I've heard from you. Wow, eventually you still remembered me. haha. How've you been? And which school are you like currently in?
SHE really had been one of my besties till we got into the diff class,
i was close to her before i knew KLX.
if im not wrong p2~p4?
hahah, idk.
in sec sch i dont seem to be able to find such friend anymore,
maybe cause in sec 3 none of the girls i knew.
if not is not close.
like dawn and co.
then now i knew hiewlitiang,
but a pity she got her own clinqie,
if not those i close to etc etc etc
are in diff class or sch..

i was crying. i am crying. i cried. i feel like crying. i did cried. i didnt cried. i am going to cry.

SELF REMINDER!
this weeked homework:
- English Summary
- Maths Textbook
- Chem Worksheet + Workbook
- Geography Worksheet
- SS BLOG.

wth. so many hmwks!!! and im not doing maths and geog.

&&& i dont wanna see a doctor because he is ugly!

i felt so sad u know because i _________________

当你失去了你才明白它的可贵...
i dont mind saying this...
i always say this quote even till now, i still say this.
i really really wanna emphasize on it, seriously.
i've been thru this more than anyone of you.
be it be someone who passed away, or i said sth wrong offended him/her or what!
whatever u can think of it, i've been thru before.
SERIOUSLY! HAVE ANYONE WONDERED HOW MUCH THEY KNEW ABOUT ME?
excluding lixuan barh?
i told quite alot, my parents?
while those not worth mentioning or related to sad de i never mention.
cause i wanna be a happy girl in their heart ;D
but sometime i felt that i should tell cause we are close,
on the other hand scared they worried.
then again i think that we should be open in everything for relationship to last.
ahaha. alots of pros and cons.
neverending!

i remember two very important people in my life,
just leave me before i could say how much i love them!
i really regretted alot!
i kept saying i shy, dont dare!
kept saying because of me they would live,
then when i was at the busiest moment of my life,
i couldnt visit them and then when the day before it,
when i planned to visit them! uh-oh. too late!

then once i said sth wrong? accidentally only,
although he/she didnt bother about what i said.
but i rather he/she bothered man.
i knew how much he/she trust me, but i couldnt forgive myself.
but im glad that the bonds we have are uber strong.
maybe to him/her its all the past and deleted already!
hahha.

just recently only, i wished someone to get lost.
then when he/she finally got lost.
i was sad and angry for him/her leaving.
only then i knew i was in the wrong.

im always like this.
thinking that one is good to me,
only then i found faults in him/her then..
somemore feel like quarelling with him/her.
if not is vice versa.
i found him/her. hmm? i just dislike him/her.
then i realised ta de hao.
ahhaha

i've forgotten what went on on mon.
maths supp cancelled.
oh i went to tuition!
physic ;DDD
i reached at 730pm, then tutor was eating.
so i waited and told andy that i waiting for him ;D
then before that, my daddy drove me ;D
before going to tuition i called andy, but never answer
who ask him dont pay attention to hp.
until i at lakeside then return my call.
too late le! cant drive him to tuition liao.
i was like busy with my hp lo.
andy litiang andy litiang.
in the end mrchong came down.
wanted for them but too long so went up first.
the funny thing? is that andy called me to ask where i am and whats the door num.
how stupid can he get uh? hahah.
(im typing sooo slow! cause i cut my nails!!!!)
yvonne came too, although she didnt wanna get into the same life a him but..
oh well, too bad.
yvonne sat on my right and andy on my left.
oh well, who ask me to be so fortunate to have them by my side..
ohh why is he soooo cute and guai.
i asked him to spray deodorant then he spray till i wanna sneeze.
hahahah. im so suay lo. before going tuition kena flu!
before they reached i asked maths Q.
not long later all reached ;D
next time i dont want bring phys txtbk liao.
so mafan de! hmpf!
share share can liao.
then vonne voone like not joining like that ;(
upon knowing i v sad u know! and angry!
daddy told me to call him when leaving.
then andy papa driving him ma.
it was last min de ba?
so in the end i followed his car.
his papa uber cute lurh.
was like saying that he drove his son there(my hse) before.
duh! he came my hse to collect homework mah!
and andyTCC can rmb worh. so nan de worh! *touched*

tues i was nearly scared to death by what adela and jasmin say.
but i doubt they know. hahah.
went home early cause uber tired from the previous.
woken by litiang msg. hahah.
ohh and when i want to nap i couldnt and i called him up,
i cried? or gg to cry on the hp.
not because of him larh but other useless stuff.
never had i been so scared? before?
kept waking up due to sis lo! prepared for class then.
before that or rather before napped i was super emotional
that i nearly smsed sth to him.
glad that i din?
hahhaa. andy got sore eye and flu?
bt much better le,
and he said he going to sch on wed cause he nid to return mi my paper. *touched*
but i felt bad lo. instead of lending litiang i lend him.

wed?
after sch, meeting then found litiang and went to see them playing table tennis.
jealous! hmpf!
cause i dont know how to play lo.
back to class for maths supp.
waste of wlq time!
andy never go -.-
i thought he will be lo.
so i think i was kinda restless then.
for the whole day i was tired too.
then after tt to table tennis and ard sch back and forth twice.
table tennis there super smelly.
tts the diff 1 hr later.
then waited for zk.
until 6?
btw we did talk about vonne and she called me right after tt.
tts still ok.
uncle uber gd open back gate den dunid walk so far.
then talked bt millie and she appeared!
i gt scared out of my wit.
then millie unknowingly got up with mi onboard 157.
lol!
and i knew sth. wahahhaah.
thanks for telling me girl. and allowing me to b the unique one (if u get wat i mean)
then i pei her to wm and then mac.
on our way to mac.
i talked abt andyTCC.
and and and.
i saw him!
ouhhhh. ahahahah
freaking scary!
i kept calling him but never response so i called aaron.
stupid right?
then andy agn and he response.
=P
i was like asking him, u andy or aaron.
then i answered myself lo.
cause ytd i v blur. abit sick larh. fever.
no one lai guanxin wo =P
yeah so i asked a stupid Q and answered myself.
talked awhile, dion came so ge zhou ge de lurh.
mac-ed and swing-ed
actually got two ppl swinging which i then knew is my pri sch mates.
hahah. so tt moment we sat dwn and talked,
then swing-ed when they left.
but in btw got two little girl snatch frm mi D:
and then while swing got one part we kept laughing.
and i nearly cry? a little bit only larh.
dont know why if laugh too heartily will burst into tears.
total i cried for then 2 times ytd.
luckily no one saw.
once was in mt class, then suddenly andy return me my paper.
lucky my head was bent. hhahahahahah.
reached home going 9pm.

today! sport day.
not feeling well. although i wanted to reach there late.
but how i know suay suay i sick. dont wish to elaborate much now.
i called some of them all never ans my call.
litiang replyed but i never ans, sry!
andy just called. but too late liao.
millie did called me lo.

it has been centuries since i went out to swing with millie until ytd.
glad that we did :D
are u touched millieleejiali? say YES!

I've understand that it is the little little twinny imperfections that make it perfect.
They added up to make it perfect.

SERIOUSLY!
WHAT THE BLOODY HELL AM I DOING!
I'VE BEEN SAYING THAT I'VE STRAIGHTEN MY MIND UP!
AND WOULD CONCENTRATE ON STUDY ONLY!!!!!
THEN I SAID I BE HAPPY!
AND THEN WHAT HAPPEN NEXT?
WAS ME CRYING AT A CORNER.
WTH IS THIS!
A MOMENT I SAID I WOULD FORGET U.
THEN REALISED THAT I CAN.
SO WHICH IS THE TRUTH.
HAVING MORE TIME TO BE WITH U,
WILL ONLY CAUSE ME TO LOVE U DEEPER N DEEPER!
HAVING LESS TIME TO BE WITH U,
WILL ALLOW ME NOT TO LOVE U SO DEEP.
AND AM ABLE TO FORGET U EASILY.
I DONT WANT U TO BE PART OF ME,
CAUSE IM AFRAID TO BE HURT.
I HATE LOVE.
IT ONLY HURTS ME, BECAUSE IM ALWAYS SERIOUS.
WHY HAVE I EVER LEARN MY LESSON?
OR IS THERE ANY LESSON THAT I SHOULD LEARN FROM?
BLOODY, WHY R U SENDING ME THE WRONG MSG.
THAT I COULDNT DIFFERENTIATE IF IS WRONG OR REAL.

TODAY WHEN I WAS LISTENING TO 933FM.
I ACCIDENTALLY HEARD A GUY TELLING TO A GIRL TO B WITH HIM OR STH LYK TT.
AND TT GIRL HAPPENS TO HAVE THE SAME NAME AS ME.
OH SO QIAO LO.
BUT SAD I DIDNT MANAGE TO HEAR WHO TT GUY WAS...

Today


Had two servings of sashimi! cost= 50+
Cause it was fresh de, on the spot killed and ate by us..
Love it lots thou its kinda ex.

♥Yesterday
went to baibai, i nearly cried out loud.
Im sry for everything.
I kept saying how much u disliked me, how much u never care for me!
Im very wrong! Im really very wrong!
Im too greedy till I lost everything!
I've got nothing left, but will you still stay by my side?
I realised that I actually love u ;D
But a broken heart, no matter how it is mended.
The crack remains...

Remembering how i told my family that they werent any relative of my.
Never did they buy stuffs that i like, like others.
Never had I knew what cousins meant. Cause i've never been showered with cousins' love.
Ytd henry bought papa beard doughnut?
Im not sure how it is called.
but it like bread with cream inside.
Baiyu took it and asked if Iwant. I was extremely shock.
But paiseh larh cause we not close. Then henry asked me, so try.
Taste like one of those that i loved, which i always buy in half a dozen de.
That little action of theirs warmed for heart for the day.
Although, it meant nothign to u guys, but millions to me.
You guys never knew how less I talked with them.
Less than hundred words a year.
We met less than 10 times a year.
But maybe this year diff, cause got 2 cousin having bday party.
Im not sure, whats more, lesser and lesser cousins are gg to grandma hse.
And grandma is like cutting down on the num of time we r supposed to go to her hse.
like, dumpling day, mooncake, grandpa's death anniversary(it depend if it falls on sat)
cause mooncake is always my family go only.
cause she is my paternal grandma, my dad is th only son ;D
Oh well, but i hope we could get closer.
But the number of years different can never chg.
I thought when Im 14 I can bond with them more.
But by then they are 21.
When I tried to catch up, they drifted too.
When I got my key, which is 21 years old.
Im an auntie with lots of newphews and nieces le.
But I really think i dont suit to be with them.....
Whatever I said is because I really love them and wanna be close to them.
But have they ever know?

I LOVE ETHAN!
Kaikai came today without his parents. due to good friday, they went to church,
played with him.
but found him a little dirty so dun dare to kiss nor hug.
cause the maid never clean him properly!
i see le very ______.
then baiyu and her family came, where i think her paternal cousin or idk who came.
she super shy, i asked her name she paiseh never say.
then i played ball ball with her. jiu shou le. then ahboy korkor, aske whats her name.
idk before or after tt, i asked her she also tell me le. ;D
then kaikai go hit her, and she came complaining to many of us for alotta time.
but shes too cute for me to be annoyed!
thou i got annoyed once?
with kaikai and yuhan i really felt so happy, am able to stop thinking stop stuffs for a moment.
and dad was wonderful, he can get the award for being to make kaikai uber happy with his beard.
haha.
kaikai always under dad's arm, smiled and laughed alot.
when i saw mum and dad tgt, as thou kai kai is their child.
looks so cool.
cause i seldom see such scene.
what a happy family.
if only mum can get me a baby boy.
i regretted how i bullied my sis and taught her all those which she shldnt know.
Im afraid i would ruin her life man. (regretted)

Below photos are either kaikai or yuhan:

你没想像中爱我.MP3 - 石欣卉Shi Xin Hui

我为什么会在这里？
为什么会活着？
我早就该死了？不对吗？
我觉得我没被珍惜，没被爱过。
我活着是为了什么呢？
还不就是为了爱我的人，疼我的人。
感觉上今天是世界末日。。
你是否知道，但我被骂，被凶了点，被看不起 etc。
我有多伤心啊！
我的伤心制度，是无字能形容的。

Ni mei xiang xiang zhong ai wo

今天我还是忍不住而掉下了眼泪。。。
I thought that I could overcome it, but i failed.
I tried to change! I really tried! Never have I been so serious before.
Or is it because Im not determined enough?
Seriously, I dont know how long more i can hold on to.
Im afraid one day I will collapse.

~

Time is not up, but i said its up.
I've got no courage to ask u, when I've got so manyyy opportunitiess.
Whats really on your mind? and on my mind?
Are you thinking what Im thinking?

~

after assembly i went for sport leader meeting.
at the same time, 3e4 kena lectured lo. and 4 of my classmates escaped.
and had pe since they need not be lectured?
i also never kena ;D but cant find class.
only andy xiaoxiong jonathan and idk who larh went for pe.
one word, pathetic.
SERIOUSLY! ic ntthink properly right now. 4:44pm !
Im actually thinking of crying again.
Do I even have a place in your/everyone heart?
then it was english had situational writing.
i think i write toooo longgggg alreadyyyyy.....
recess and maths, mdm lye never come.
nevertheless, theres still hmwk.
difficult lurh! then physic.
I dont even understand a singleee thinggggg!
geog was utterly boring.
so, precisely, i was smsing during physic and geog lo.
geog i think cause some of them came in class super late
then miss su uber angry D;
told us to stay back lurh.
pe, incline pull up i dont seem to be able to do it anymore.
i have a feeling that i will injured my shoulder/wrist/ankle/knee one day.
back to class as miss su told.
but we didnt have to stay back, just some sense talking.
liting uber kind lo. pei me to busstop tgt with zk whn liujie came by. ;D
i thought evangeline left since i saw 157 went away.
and then im so lucky cause she aws there as she didnt saw the bus.
i saw zoey so i asked who is waiting for without knowing zahra and nadiah beside me
and zahra replied saying shes waiting for bus, i feel so bad, make her so malu.
cause i really never see kieran's 'mother'. haha. bus-ed and walked with evangeline ;D

Current mood : happy + sad = ???

wth, im sooo confuse right now.
friday = good friday = qing ming jie for me!
seriously im excited okay,
but also pekcek.
cause good friday = holiday, so i can slp like a pigggy.
then must go baibai, which mean i must wake up early and take 1hr bus ride!
Coming up May, Kelly's bday. shiok ahhh.

Today, damn stupid lo, that Ass cher!!! think he oh-so-big meh.
And Mr Amran havent return me my thumbdrive!!!!
think he lost it alrdy larh!
NRIC was freaking malu lo.
Its Mrs Cindy Lee who present not Mrs Leong de.
And math was presentation, how i wish theres pencil when i was presenting.
Cause........... alotta mistakesss!
Im actually super excited about physic tuition!
YAY-ness!
cause in this way, i would be able to understand everything liao!!!
wahahas.
Seriously, assembly hor, everytime i liting and dawn would be discussing the same thing!
I fastened my speed for 157 today man.
Glad that i did, HuiDa was in it, and he treat me to his cheesecake.
Nice larh, but i think is the same as i did for speech day last year.
and after that when i went home to do, i dump them away =X
I guess I was alittle sortta angry during recess?
Chinese, i think im siao lurh, kept telling ZengLaoShi to fasten her speed for spelling.
yeah right, spelling!
and she buaytahan and laughed at me!

YesTerDay.
2.4km!
at least i pass, shouldnt have slack lorh! then i would be able to overtake 2 classmates!
whatever~
ohh, i walked to busstop with xinyi.
i cant believe that i actually told her sth worh.

perhaps it was a very wrong decision to not let the blade to cut through my wrist...

that day, either 010409 or 310309 boonkeat looked great!
shld be 010409
EEBOONKEAT i got kua u de okay!
hair was different and buttoned up. cool.
and what was worst is that both i and raina didnt know that andy was coming tgt.
so i took the left seater and bloody i gotta sit beside him.
i kept emphasizing on GRACIOUSNESS! but i kept laughing. LOL
i even said hi to him! cause wlq is gracious.
homed and bused with yingchong.
this time round i never ask him okay, cause he missed his bus.
supposed to bus with judith last min ps.
and and and it was freaking stupid in the bus
cause i kept thinkin on how to offer my help to throw the bottle away for yc.
when he suddenly came asking me in chi.
i got shocked can, cause normally is i ask ppl throw for me and not vice versa!

ytd went home with raina.
physic was siann! felt like slping lo.
the rest cant rmb liao.
i gt serious stm!

today!
geog was copying of ans only!
and yeah lo, cant gt my eyes off him larh.
phys really makes me feel like slping.
and at last jonathan got caught for slping!
wahahaha, im bad.
maths i got get whats shes talking, crap!
i supposed chem was th most interesting topic.
helped in the nric thingy and library-ed for jap proj.
walked with litiang to busstop there and separated D;
at first i was hoping to leave for home early
but im glad i didnt
cause i met hughes on the bus!
i seriously miss him alot alot alot
and he was uber uber uber cute when waving his hand.
although it was nothing.
seriously how i wish i and him + the rest can be closer than before,
unlike now, further than before.

p/s: sec 3 guys really changed alot and became much mature!
p/s/s: i saw all the ic from 3e1 to 3e5
p/s/s/s: who knows i might be up on stage to help out on mon
but comfirm i helping 3e1 in the registeration.
p/s/s/s: gg up on tues for my ic
p/s/s/s/s: napfa 2.4km on mon + got jap meeting + maths sup.

Have i been put into your consideration?
Have you ever wonder that I will think that way?
Where does the problem lies?

When I thought that I could have just forget about it, I was proved that Im wrong.
What am I supposed to do, Im afraid that I would lose controll of myself.
How many people on earth know that Im feeling uber sad and miserable now.
I cant stand having to act even when Im at school.
I want to scream and yell when Im angry!
I want to cry out loud when Im sad!


许愿树 - 郭美美

HOHO~
WHAT DAY IS IT TODAY?!
APRIL FOOL!